Coping with the Emotions of New Parenthood

After Baby Comes Home: Understanding the Baby Blues

The first weeks with a new baby can feel like a blur. One minute you feel love. The next, you may be in tears. If your moods seem all over the place, you are not the only one. Most new parents go through this.

Doctors call it the "baby blues." About 4 out of 5 new parents feel it. The blues are not a sign that something is wrong with you. They are not your fault.

When the blues show up

The blues often start a few days after birth. They may stick around for one or two weeks. Then they fade on their own.

You might cry without knowing why. You might feel cranky or worried. You might feel close to your baby one moment and far away the next. All of this is normal.

Why you might feel this way

Your body just did something huge. Now it is shifting back. The drop in hormones can mess with your mood. Other things can pile on, like:

• Not enough sleep, night after night

• Skipped meals or too little food

• Worry about being a good parent

• A whole new daily routine

Small steps that help

The blues tend to pass on their own. But some small things can make the days feel easier:

• Sleep when your baby sleeps. The dishes can wait.

• Say yes to help. If someone offers, give them a real job—a hot meal, a load of laundry, or an hour with the baby so you can shower.

• Get a few minutes for you. A short walk, a quiet cup of tea, or a call with a friend.

• Find your people. Other new parents get it. A new-parent group, online or in person, can lift your spirits.

• Take care of yourself. Simple meals and a bit of fresh air go a long way.

Partners feel it too

Your partner can also feel low after a baby joins the family. About 1 in 10 partners do. They might shut down, snap more, or have a hard time sleeping. This can happen in the first months, or up to your baby’s first birthday.

When to call the doctor

If the blues continue for more than two weeks, please reach out. What you feel may be postpartum anxiety and depression. This is real, treatable, and not your fault.

Pick up the phone if you:

• Still feel sad after two weeks

• Feel worse, not better, as time goes by

• Cannot do simple daily things

• Feel far from your baby or scared to care for them

• Have any thought of hurting yourself or your baby

In a crisis, call or text 988. If you feel you or your baby is in danger, call 911 or head to the closest ER.

A final word

What you are feeling does not make you a bad parent. It makes you a human one. Help is out there, and it works. Taking care of you is part of taking care of your baby.

Talk to your doctor or your baby's doctor about how you feel. You can also call Postpartum Support International at 1-800-944-4773.